More NST's and finally some GOOD NEWS!!!

I saw my Ob on Thursday and he took some extra time to listen to Corban's heart. He definitely heard the arrhythmia. He also did an ultrasound which showed I still have plenty of amniotic fluid and that Corban is definitely a boy. "He's really strutting his stuff today," Dr. said! That's our boy!! After my appt I had an NST at the hospital. It all pretty much went downhill from there.

Corban's arrhythmia was still easily evident and then on top of that his heart rate which would normally be around 145 beats per minute would jump up to 200 beats per minute for 10 seconds or so before dropping back down. My nurse called in another nurse who has more experience with arrhythmias. This nurse, Stacie said that it sounded like a heart block, which is an electrical issue and that baby might need a steroid or something after delivery to reset his heart into a proper rhythm. She also said that a worse case scenario would be that he might need a pacemaker. They were upset that I hadn't gotten my fetal echo test done yet. And when I told them that the Dr. who does it wouldn't be back up in the area until next week they started talking about finding me another Dr. in the valley who could see me today. I was not the least bit excited about making a trip to the valley, especially since it was already 2pm! They called Dr. Brunel who said that he would not be sending me to another dr. and it would be ok to wait until the Modesto office could get me in. Then they noticed that I'd been contracting pretty regularly. I wasn't feeling most of them, but considering my history of pre-term labor they were concerned. So I had a fetal fibromectin (I think that was what it was called) test to determine if these contractions would develop into real labor. I had to wait until the lab ran the test... 15 min or so later it came back negative! So 2 hrs later, I was able to leave the hospital and run my errands before going home. I was never so excited to get to Wal-Mart!

The weekend past in a blur of activity- birthday party for the boys, church, dinner with my family, Bible Study followed by BBQ, and an out door movie. So we got home really late Sunday evening and Kris was kneeling by the bed talking to Corban and feeling my tummy as Corban was just beginning one of his most active periods of the day. Overcome by the emotion of the moment I said, "What if they can't fix his heart?"... I didn't have the courage to give voice to the bigger question rattling around in my head ("what if he dies?!"). Kris reminded me that we serve a good God and that God created Corban for a purpose and that God has the power to heal our baby. I then said, "I know all that but I also know that sometimes God doesn't heal people... what do we do then?!" - not my biggest faith moment, so sorry Lord. Kris said that even if God chose not to heal Corban's heart He would give us everything we need to take care of our baby.. that God would still be God and that God would still be good... and that His love for us would be unchanged, that God would still be worthy of our worship and praise. He then spent a long time praying for peace for us, whatever the outcome, for healing for Corban, and for God's will to be done even if it meant our baby wouldn't be healed. The valley of despair looming overhead, all my heart could cry was that it didn't want God's will unless it meant that my baby would live and that my baby would be healed!.. again please forgive me Lord.

After praying Kris suggested we use the Doppler monitor we were lent to listen to Corban's heart. Honestly I really didn't want to hear it's erratic beating again. But I agreed. Kris found the heartbeat pretty easily as it's always been strong and we listened. And we listened. And we listened, for at least 5 minutes and we did not hear the arrhythmia at all! NOT. ONE. EXTRA. BEAT!! We also didn't hear any of the spiking he was doing on Friday. His heartbeat was PERFECT! God had healed our son!! Tears came in buckets down my cheeks now as I whispered my thanks to God. I could have laid there and listened to his normal heart beating all night long! It was a miracle!!

We listened to his heart again on Monday before I left for another NST and it still sounded normal. Corban's heartbeat was strong and steady during the NST as well. One of the nurses from last week who'd heard the arrhythmia and the spiking was on duty and she came in and said, "Oh goodness, it sounds so much better!!"

We have deeply appreciated all your thoughts and prayers. We have felt their encouragement! I am so grateful that God doesn't abandon me when I doubt, but that instead He chose to remind me of His faithfulness!